Hey people 🙂
I feel a tiny bit lost at the moment. I will relate this back to writing in a moment, before any of you are immediately put off by something that closely resembling soul-searching/moping! But yes, I feel a bit lost. I keep trying to search for that thing inside me which is the reason why I write.
Do I write for myself? Well, no. If there was nobody but me reading my work I would endlessly procrastinate, and give up the whole thing entirely. If I was the last girl on the face of the Earth would I sit writing? I doubt it, I would probably do what Will Smith did in I Am Legend and watch every film ever created n alphabetical order (skipping out the film I Am Legend, note, because it was pretty awful.)
Do I write for others? I’d like to think so, but being in this odd state of having never published anything as of yet, I feel in limbo. I am writing, not for now, but for that future moment, probably sometime next year if I really stick to it, when I can proudly put my work up for self-publishing.
But my problem is, I’m lacking in motivation, and confidence, two things you need in spades to keep on writing.
On top of that, my usually very quiet personal life is for some reason becoming frantic, as if I am suddenly becoming a popular young lady. And “Sorry I want to sit in my dark flat hitting keys furiously and scolding myself audibly for not making my characters likeable enough” seems like a poor excuse to not come out.
After this big whining post, all I am trying to say is that writing my story is feeling very tough at the moment. But I’m going to do my best to not give up. And part of that includes stopping writing this blog post and starting writing about my lovely characters Jeremy and Sasha, and the scrape they are in…
Thanks for reading!